Managing a Difficult Colleague

As a leader, how do you handle working with a difficult colleague? 

Working with a difficult person can be distracting and draining. Next time a colleague irritates you to no end, try these three things:

• Manage your reaction. If someone annoys you, don't focus on the behavior. Focus on how you react, which is usually the only thing you can control.
• Keep it to yourself. Emotions are contagious, so complaining about a co-worker can bring everyone down. And it can reflect negatively on you. If you must vent, do it outside the office.
• Work together. It's counterintuitive, but by spending more time together you may develop empathy for your colleague. You might discover reasons for the behavior: stress at home, pressure from someone else, or some other cause.  

Adapted from "How to Work with Someone You Hate" by Amy Gallo.

How are You Unique as a Leader?

As a leader, what is it that makes your leadership unique?

To be successful as a leader, you need to know your strengths and what special skills and qualities you bring to your role. If you can't articulate them, you can't expect others to see them either. Here's a four-step process to identifying what makes your leadership great:

• List your strengths. Include skills and knowledge you've acquired through experience and education as well as softer intrinsic strengths, such as insightfulness or empathy.
• Ask for input. Ask colleagues for honest feedback - either directly or anonymously.  Just be sure to hear from those you lead.
• Revisit past feedback. Reread old performance appraisals or think back on coaching experiences.  Have you grown in these areas?  How? 
• Modify your list. Adjust your original list to reflect what you've learned. Make sure the strengths are specific so that they are credible and useful.

Adapted from "Five Steps to Assess Your Strengths" by Bill Barnett.

Too busy? Help someone else.

As a leader, do you sometimes feel too busy?  If so, help someone else.

It can be irritating to hear someone else complain about being busy, especially if you're busy too. But instead of competing with your own story of how busy you are, offer to help. Start by empathizing. Tell your colleague that you understand, and paraphrase the complaint back to them. Then offer to help in a specific way: Tell them you'll grab lunch, look over work that needs tending to, or...something else tangible. Chances are your colleague will take you up on the offer and feel appreciative. This act of generosity will make you feel better and more productive. You'll likely see that if you have time to help someone else, you have enough bandwidth to complete your own work.


Adapted from Guide to Managing Stress by by Gill Corkindale, Judith Ross, Tony Schwartz, Catherine McCarthy, Stewart D. Friedman, Peter Bregman, Amy Gallo, Alexandra Samuel, John Baldoni, Linda Steinberg, Ron Ashkenas, Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Vickie Elmer