Listening without Reacting

As a leader, do you know and use the skills of listening - without reacting?

Listening is harder than speaking. Even the best listeners sometimes have to bite their tongues to stop from reacting, interrupting, or trying to deal with the person talking. Here are four ways you can truly listen:

• Avoid distractions. This doesn't just mean putting down the Blackberry or closing your web browser. Try not to think about what you're going to say next. Simply focus on what the other person says.
• Listen for content and emotion.  When people are concerned about something and are speaking with you, there is both content (the issue) and emotion (how they're feeling).  Listen for both.  You'll need them in the next step.
• Repeat back by paraphrasing concisely. This sometimes feels silly, but repeating back what you heard - in the form of a clear, concise paraphrase - shows the other person that you're listening and you're getting it.
• Ask thoughtful questions. Ask open-ended questions that help you see the issue more clearly and allow your conversation partner to go deeper into what s/he cares about.

Adapted from "How to Really Listen" by Peter Bregman.

Leading Meetings

As a leader, how do you lead open, honest, productive meetings?

Meetings without outcomes are a waste of time. Yet, many meetings fail to produce results because the conversation circles around the issues rather than focusing on them. To make sure decisions happen and people take action, you need to have a productive dialogue. Here are five things every meeting
should be:

1. Open. The outcomes of your meeting should not be predetermined. Questions like, "What are we missing?", "Who else needs to be here?", "What voices are not represented at this table?" signal honest searching for a range of perspectives and more broad-based thinking.
2. Candid. Encourage people to air conflicts. When people express their real opinions, productivity increases.  A quick 'go round' of the table to ask "What;s working for you and what isn't?" can help surface issues that need to be tabled. 
3. Informal. Keep it loose. Conversations should be unscripted with honest questions and spontaneity...yet with meeting processes in place so that it's not unending.  This in itself takes lots of practice as the leader of meetings.
4. Conclusive. Everyone should leave knowing exactly what they are expected to do.  A quick check-in helps.  Again, a quick 'go round' of the table to ask, "What's your action coming out of our meeting?" helps solidify the actions and confirms that the meeting had purpose. 
5. Reflective - a few days after the meeting, check in with a few people to ask how it went.  Are meetings helping us accomplish what we want to accomplish?  Being sincere in seeking this input helps staff know that you're serious about their opinions and that you value both their opinions and their work.  

Adapted from Harvard Business Review on Making Smart Decisions.

How Trustworthy are You as a Leader?

As a leader, how might your staff rank YOU in terms of trust?

Facets of Trust

Benevolence:

• caring
• extending good will
• having positive interactions
• supporting teachers
• expressing appreciation for staff efforts
• being fair
• guarding confidential information 

Honesty:

• having integrity
• telling the truth
• keeping promises
• honoring agreements
• having authenticity
• accepting responsibility
• avoiding manipulation
• being real
• being true to oneself

Openness:

• engaging in open communication
• sharing important information
• delegating
• sharing decision making
• sharing power

Reliability:

• having consistency
• being dependable
• demonstrating commitment
• having dedication
• being diligent

Competence:

• setting an example
• engaging in problem solving
• fostering conflict resolution (rather than avoidance)
• working hard
• pressing for results
• setting standards
• buffering teachers
• handling difficult situations
• being flexible

From:  Trust Matters by Megan Tschannen-Moran
Published by: Jossey-Bass

Defining Trust

As a leader, do you trust others and are you trustworthy? 

Most people rely on an intuitive feel of what is meant when we say that we trust someone.  Trust is difficult to define because it is so complex.  It is a multifaceted construct, meaning that there are many elements or drivers of an overall level of trust.  Trust may vary somewhat depending on the context of the trust relationship.  It is also dynamic in that it can change over the course of a relationship, as expectations are either fulfilled or disappointed and as the nature of the interdependence between two people changes.  Reoccuring themes emerged as I examined various definitions of trust in the literature, which led me to the following definition:  Trust is one's willingness to be vulnerable to another based on the confidence that the other is benevolent, honest, open, reliable, and competent (Mishra, 1996; Tschannen-Moran & Hoy, 1998, 2000)

From:  Trust Matters by Megan Tschannen-Moran
Published by: Jossey-Bass